At The Mama Ladder, we are linking arms with our Black friends and speaking up—because it’s worth doing the uncomfortable work NOW to pave the way for all children of every color to have a better world.
Teisha Shelby-Houston, “Lady T”, the Business Coach for Moms, who spoke at #MamaSpringBreak 2019 with cofounder Crystalee Beck
Due to the horrific death of George Floyd and resulting protests and worldwide outrage, we have a unique opportunity to change what’s not working in the United States and abroad.
Few things infuriate me like racism and white supremacy. When I first learned about the Civil Rights movement in grade school, I hoped I would have been on the right side of history. But I see NOW is a time to stand up for Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream. NOW is time to recognize the subtle ways we treat people who are different than us.
Listening and Speaking Up
The past two weeks, I've listened like I've never listened before to my Black friends I respect and love: Natasha Hemmingway, Ticora Davis, ESQ, Marlena Wilding, Sine Bentley, and others. I hear they simply want the respect they deserve as human beings, equality not only in law but also in actions, and a safer world for their babies.
What mother doesn’t want to keep her babies safe? For them to have every opportunity? For them to be seen as equal?
Feeling empathy for my friends and pain for inequality has been humbling. I finally realize how little I knew about the #BlackLivesMatter movement. All lives will matter more when we recognize black lives matter and they have been hurting a long time.
This video by Patrice Washington, who was a Featured Speaker at #MamaSpringBreak 2019, really changed my heart. Her story taught me that by staying silent, I was contributing to the problem. I only wish I would have recognized this sooner. I have never seen myself as racist, but realize now that I would look the other way when racial topics came up. I didn’t know if it was appropriate to even point out that someone was a different color than me. I didn’t want to offend.
But the truth is, there is still unfair and prejudice treatment happening in the world. So we need to talk about race, even though we are all the human race. Now I know better, so I will do better. The Mama Ladder is committed to creating space for women of all racial backgrounds to feel welcome and supported.
You Cannot Change the World by Staying Comfortable
At in this moment of history, we each have a choice. We can choose to look the other way. To stay comfortable. To pretend racism no longer exists. To coddle fragile egos or hide behind "not knowing what to say." Or we can join the effort of anti-racism and be a true ally. Nothing worth changing is ever comfortable.
Think about it: When you became a mother, you made very uncomfortable changes physically, financially, emotionally. When you started a business, you took risks, put yourself out there, overcame fears, and poured your energy into it. You got uncomfortable.
Having conversations about race is uncomfortable. It requires humility. It takes a hard look inside to see if we are contributing to the problem. CHANGING HEARTS IS NEVER COMFORTABLE.
7 Prompts for White Friends Who Aren’t Sure How to Speak Up
If you have held back on speaking up because you are white and afraid to be seen as "performing” or insincere or self-serving during this time, I hear you. I was afraid of that too. Then I came across this helpful chart by Seerut K. Chawla, MBACP, a London based trauma-informed integrative psychotherapist. (See here: @seerutkchawla) She teaches to see the difference between performative and authentic allyship.
If you know you are sincere, say what you feel. Say what you believe. As Natasha Hemmingway, speaker for an upcoming 100 Grand Plan Workshop, said:
“When it’s from your heart, you can’t go wrong.”
I invite you to use this unique time to educate yourself, listen to Black voices with an open heart, reflect internally, and take a stand in your own way. Not for any other reason than you truly care.
Then keep it up.
This is not a “two-week” event. It’s the effort of a lifetime and it will take every one of us heart-centered moms to change the story for the next generation. Both at home with our children and in business with our teams, clients, and communities, we have an opportunity to shine a light!
Here are several prompts to get you started. You can “steal” these for blog posts, social media, dinnertime conversations in your home — just start the conversation!
I believe that everyone deserves ______.
Here’s the biggest lesson for me from the #BLM movement: _________.
I want my children to know ______.
I will _____ when I see racist comments or actions from now on.
I recognize there are things I didn’t know about race. For example, ______.
As a white person, I want to join the effort to support my black friends by _______.
I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that I want to see _______ change.
From the left: Lady T of Business Coach for Moms, Kristy Pack of Pack Tax, artist Marlena Wilding, and Crystalee Beck of The Mama Ladder at #MamaSpringBreak 2019
What we are doing at The Mama Ladder to promote racial equality
It’s not enough to learn something new if we don’t take action on it. Here’s the starting list for how we’re making an effort to be part of the solution:
Last week we dedicated our weekly mastermind/training with the heart-centered, driven women in our Mama Power membership program about racial equality. There were tears, personal stories, and humble recognition of internalized bias. It was uplifting and loving, and I’m proud we are HAVING THE CONVERSATION and we will keep having it.
We are hiring a diversity expert to offer a bonus training to our Mama Power community and to our leadership team at The Mama Ladder. We refuse to let “lack of education” be an excuse anymore. We’re actively educating ourselves.
We will keep going. Every year from 2020 on, we will offer annual diversity training to our Mama Power members as part of our small business owner curriculum. This is to make sure we do not forget the lessons we’re learning right now.
We will continue to invite women of color to be our Guest Experts in our monthly trainings for Mama Power members and to speak at #MamaSpringBreak Business & Adventure Retreat. We want to hear from you, learn from you, and love you. (I really mean that.)
We will make greater effort to include images of women of color in our marketing and social media, because we really, truly, want women of color to feel welcome and represented at our events.
Our High Five Grant for Moms $5,000 grant program for mom business owners will continue to welcome mothers of every race and diverse representation on the Judging Panel.
With love and respect,
Crystalee Beck
President, The Mama Ladder
P.S. Full transparency: As of June 2020, 11% of our Mama Power members are women of color, and we welcome more beautiful women of color into our community. I would like to see this ratio much higher before the end of this year. We ALL benefit with having diverse perspectives.
